The surprise the TP-ers didn't expect

A few weeks ago, I was driving home about 8:30 pm after playing soccer at the church building with some guys from the ward. As I looked down the street, I could see the usual cars parked along the curb. As I neared our house, there was a new-looking sedan parked along the right hand side, with the dome light on inside. I could see a young guy sitting inside in the dim light as I passed.

Just as I pulled up to the driveway, my headlights illuminated two girls. One of them was carring a huge wal-mart size package of toilet paper. The other girl had a few exposed rolls, and had dropped one or two which she was kicking down the street. As she kicked it down the street, it unrolled leaving a toilet paper trail across the driveway.

As my headlights fell on them, the girls broke into a run. Well, they thought they were running. They weren't making much speed because of all the toilet paper, and the fact that I had just blinded them with my 1000 candlewatt halogens. In an effort to escape to their get-away car, they dropped all their toilet paper in my front yard. At this point, I threw the truck into park and jumped out in persuit. They soon realized they wouldn't make it to the car before I would and slowed to a walk.

I then told them that I didn't care if they toilet-papered the house down the street. I just didn't want them to drop it all in my yard as they ran away. As I walked back toward the house and my truck parked in the street, the girls jumped in the car and sped away... leaving the toilet paper still sitting in my driveway.

So, now what do I do with 50 rolls of wal-mart quality toilet paper? And I'm not particularly in need of cheap ammo for my toilet-papering rampages lately.