Friday, July 29, 2011

Thoughts of Soon to be Mom of Two

Lately, I just find myself staring at Reid, wondering when did my baby get so big?  I remember when he couldn't do or say anything.  And now he can almost always clearly explain what he wants, and when I check to verify, he accepts that as a "yes", and then I have to disappoint him and tell him no.  Thus begins the tantrums.  But really, his tantrums are fabulous as far as tantrums go.  He'll either drop his head and shoulders and stick out his bottom lip in the most perfected pout you have ever seen, or he'll let out the most pathetic cry and then throw his face on the couch/automan/chair/etc.  Give him a minute or two and he's over it.  I am grateful that these tantrums aren't bad.  But the testing of the limits, OH!  I'm so tired of saying no, and saying no to the same thing!  But really, can I blame the kid for wanting more fruit snacks/juice/M&Ms/popcorn/etc.  No, not really.  I just have to be a mom and do what is good for him.

Then there are the truly sweet moments, when he grabs my head and snuggles it up next to his.  Or when he wants to play "dark again" (hiding under a blanket), so we can giggle together.  He always gives me and his daddy sweet kisses.  He jumps for joy when Daddy or Mommy come home when they have been gone.  He loves his independence, as long as he knows where we are.  And the trust my child shows me is amazing.  I was overwhelmed one day at a beach entry pool, when I was trying to show him that the water went deeper, and he just kept walking towards me, even though the water was completely over his head.  I love this little boy so much, and I can feel the love that he has for me.

So how could anything be wrong?  Well, in church a few weeks ago a friend gave a lesson about how scary it was to have another child coming into her family.  And it hit me... that is what I have been feeling!  Will I love this 2nd baby enough?  Will I still be able to show my 1st baby all the love and attention he needs and deserves?  Will I end up abandoning the older child, because the baby needs more?  How is my 1st child going to adjust?  How am I going to adjust?  Will I be able to give everyone what they need?  All these fears have hit me like a ton of bricks.

Deep down I know this is the right thing, and I am so excited to meet this little guy inside of me.  And I would never want to deprive Reid of the love you can feel for and from a sibling.  So I know this is the right thing, but man am I scared for them.  Will I be enough of a mom for BOTH of them?

I am grateful for the comforting words of my best friend who told me that I'm normal in all this, and shared some very reassuring thoughts and feelings from her experience of having multiple children.  But I still find myself crying every time I read those "baby is coming" books to Reid.  I ache for him and the change he is going to have, and the challenges that this little boy will have to soon face.  And I just want to help him and make it easy, but alas... I need to let him go through this, as much as I need to learn how to be a mom of 2.

I have tried to make the most of this summer, spending time with Reid, letting him learn and grow and experience all that he can.  I have tried to bond with him and show him my love.  I have tried to teach him about shapes, colors, and Jesus Christ.  I hope that through all of this, he knows that I love him, and come what may, we are a family forever.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Driving, Vacations and More

We survived our long vehicular summer vacation, super prego, sprained foot, toddler and all.

What summer vacation, you say?
Well, Matt's family had a reunion in Utah.  So the question is... what is the quickest way to get from Texas to Utah?  Flying of course!  Well, it sure wasn't the cheapest.  So we looked at other options.  If we went to Colorado and stayed with my brothers instead of driving straight there, we'd add only 100 miles to our trek.  So thus began our fabulous vacation.

We started out bright and early on a Saturday morning.  We were thrilled to just be out on a vacation, it didn't matter where.  About two hours into the drive, we got stopped on the road.  The man that stopped our car said, we have to stop traffic because they have to land a helicopter on the highway.  (how cool is that?!)  Then he continued for accident victims.  (ok, that's a bummer)  So, while waiting, I figured, let's eat something.  I pull out a mango we hadn't managed to eat before leaving.  I brought paper towels, a knife and a bowl, surely I was prepared.  HA!  That sucker was so juicy that it got everywhere.  And did you know that mango is super slippery?!  Yeah, went right down into that place by your seatbelt and the console... that teeny whole that you hate wedging your hand into on occasion when you drop some item that CANNOT be left behind?  yeah, that one.  Well, I might have let it go, except for the GIANT wasp that flew into the car through our open windows!  AHHH!
So, I'm trying to get the food cleaned up, with my totally mango juice covered hands... in the mean time, Matt's trying to wave the wasp out of the car, with his mango covered hands.  Oh and let's try and keep the wasp out of the back seat, because I do NOT need a wasp stung toddler on my hands while we drive for 14 more hours!
Thanks to a cheezit box and quick automatic windows... we managed to get the wasp out of the car.  But then it was chasing Matt around wanting the cheezits!  So he jumps in the car, and we sit there breathing trying to pretend we did not just run around like crazy trying to get a wasp out of our car.

After that we were grateful to get going on the road and had a wonderful drive to Colorado.  Reid made it 12 hours before we put a movie on!  I couldn't have been more proud.  (don't worry, he didn't make it more than one hour by the last trek of the drive)

In Colorado and had a blast with two of my older brothers' families.  We had an ice cream tasting contest (which me and my 9 year old niece won on a team effort!), we played hours of games while it rained and poured, we thoroughly enjoyed the cool nights, we toured geeky things like NIST and NOAA, played an hour or two of tag (which was pretty hilarious), and got spoiled as my dear sisters-in-law fed us and let us relax for a few days!

After that, we headed to Utah for the family reunion.  To give us a little time to rest up, we stayed at my aunt's house for one night.  They have a gorgeous home and are so gracious to share it with us.  They fed us and even watched our son so we could attend the Salt Lake Temple.  (something we both have wanted to do for years!) 

Then with a little grocery shopping, it was time to head to the family reunion.  Matt's aunt found this beautiful huge cabin in the mountains east of Salt Lake.  It was so nice!  Tons of rooms, big open social areas.  Not to mention sand volleyball court, tether ball, hammock, two playgrounds, fishing, fire pit, lovely front porch and lawn, Oh and the gorgeous Utah air!  The only bummer, which isn't completely bad cuz it was beautiful, was the creek that was a raging river due to all the snow melt.  We got to share our room with Matt's sister, and I hope she slept ok with a toddler in the same room!  (she was polite if she didn't)  The funny thing is that it was on the 3rd floor, so all the heat of the day was in there by the end of the day, and I was sweltering by the time I would put Reid to bed.  So I did my best to open up the windows to cool it off... and man, that's so fun to just open the windows and enjoy the beautiful cool night air, and even be quite chilly in the mornings!
A family favorite at these reunions is playing Rook.  It is hard to play Rook with just me and Matt, so we did our best to get all of the playing in that we could.  Matt's cousins and aunts and uncles are quite skillful at this game... so it is a fun challenge.

Then after a few days there, we headed back to Arizona for a quick stop in.  The best part of the travel was carpooling with Matt's parents and sister, so we got to have some great chats while driving out on the open road.  Reid was struggling by this time, but other than his break down when I didn't realize how late it was and how hungry he probably was... he was a pretty good sport.

In Arizona, we visited with a few friends (the dentist included for me) and family.  I enjoyed getting my Eegee's and Frost cravings satisfied, and visiting with great people!  Reid really enjoyed some one on one time with Grandma and Grandpa A at the house he mostly remembers as home. 

We only stayed for one day, just to break up two super long days of driving.  Then we headed back to Texas.  This drive was painful and hard, and altogether worthy of forgetting.  We got stopped twice in the last couple hours because we had a headlight out.... which we knew about, but what can you do?
(When we got home I am proud to say that my husband manned up and saved us $100+ by changing the headlight himself!)

A great family vacation with lots of family visited and enjoyable times had!

Super prego, yeah how's that going?
Yes, I figure we drove about 52+ hours on this vacation.  I was 30 weeks when we left, 31 weeks when we got home.  Just got this trip done in the knick of time!
I am now 33 weeks and I'm not allowed to leave town once I'm 34 weeks.  I'm starting to get ready for this baby.  Car seat covers are being washed, birth plans have been updated, hospital bags are being packed, and labor/birth education courses are being reviewed.
This baby is measuring 70%+, and so am I.  I guess that belly measurement they do shows me as big.  It makes sense to me, because I was over 8lbs at birth, and Reid didn't even make it to 7lbs until he was a week old.  So this baby may be getting the taller genes in the family... we'll see!

Sprained foot!  What the ...?
So 2.5 days before it was time to be driving out of the driveway, I was rushing down the stairs and rolled my ankle.  Yeah, that's to be expected.  I don't have the greatest ankles, and I'm all loosy-goosy from being prego.  Well, the sprained ankle I can deal with.... it was the other foot that I landed on that was killing me!
After a rough night involving me at the church with 8-12 year olds, nail polish, Matt home with Reid and a power outage, and LOTS of pain... we sent Reid off to an air conditioned house and headed to the ER.
Can I just tell you how frustrating it is to feel like you have broken a bone?  In the same general of your body as the ONLY other broken bone you have had?  And getting this injury on the same apparatus as before?  Yeah, its frustrating.   And no one in the ER wants to give a 29.5 week pregnant woman painkillers without checking with the doctor first... so wait we did.
Of course it wasn't broken!  GRRR.  But it was pretty badly sprained.  So basically I went to the ER to get some painkillers to make it through the next few days.
My tailbone also hurt some, so they sent me to labor and delivery to double check that all is well with the baby, and it was.

We finally got home @ 2am, and thank goodness to amazing friends who made it possible to sleep all day long while she kept Reid at her house.  THEN she came over the next day and packed for me!  LIFESAVER!

So as if tredging around on vacation while super pregnant isn't fun enough... I was also sporting a big black ortho boot and donut pillow.  If I got a dollar for every look that said "ohhhh", "poor her", or "oh man!"  I would be a very rich woman.  I really did look pathetic.... plus, I was still dealing with pain because I couldn't take pain killers because I needed to help drive.  Oh man, was that fun!

3 weeks later it is finally getting better.  I no longer wear the boot, but I am currently still sitting on my boppy pillow because let's face it a bruised tailbone takes like 100 years to heal!  Really I'm doing just fine, I have to admit... I'm wondering if a bruised tailbone is gonna make labor hurt more?  Anyone know?

So, that's our summary for now.  Add in doctor appointments, playgroups, church callings, work, and pregnancy exhaustion and that's what kept us busy this summer.  Hope your lives are a little less crazy!